It’s Amazing How People Forget….

times helped out

As I sit and think about something’s that have taken place in the past few weeks, maybe even months, it amazes me how soon people forget how much you’ve been there for them no matter what. It amazes me that when they know they will be in need of something they call, text, send e-mails, and even Facebook messages checking on you, asking how your doing like the really care, then all of a sudden you’re hit with the real reason, only though at that moment you don’t know it’s the real reason, they need something from you. So with being the person that I am; and I know I’m not the only one like this, I extend the help that they need no matter what I may have going on. Now lets fast forward a few months and it just so happens you need something, now you can’t get a phone call answered, and text or e-mail returned and they go missing from Facebook, not missing like they deleted you but missing as if they are scared to post or comment on your stuff because you will know that they are out there.

Now let’s say someone you have helped numerous times finally says if you need anything just ask me and when you ask them it seems as though they want you to jump through hoops for them to give you the help that you need. As if they get pleasure out of seeing you down knowing they can help you but wants you to do this and do that. I know everyone is not religious, I know everyone is not saved or believe in God, but I am I do and I do so therefore I know if He sent that person to help you you would not have to go through hell and high water just to get the help. They would give the help freely without attachments or expectations, or wanting something from you in the process. They wouldn’t hold out the help trying to make you do something with them or for them, they wouldn’t try and make you feel like less of a person because you need their help. God don’t work that way! Some may say I’m wrong but I really don’t believe so, so at this point I need no one to ask me for anything. See I am that person that everyone would come to when they needed help no matter what kind I was always there for whoever, I always made it a point to help anyway I could. I have given my last to make sure someone else needs were met before mine.
So like I said it truly amazes me that people tend to forget all you have done for them as soon as they feel they are doing better and don’t need you or your help anymore. It amazes me that people you have went out your way for actually offers the help but wants you to jump through hoops to get it. I’m not a circus clown or seal so therefore I will not jump through hoops just to help you feel superior.
Just remember this the same one that you left standing will be the same one you will soon need again for something, I just hope that someone is not me because at this point the only answer anyone gets from me for now on is NO!!

Answer is No Smurf

CHELLE B.

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Sex Isn’t Love……Love Isn’t Sex……

Love Gold heart key

 

Throughout life and over time many have often confused love with sex figuring that the two go hand in hand, I will say that in some aspects they do but only in marriage. Also good sex should never be mistaken for love because you have people these days that enter into sexual relationships so casual and after a few good rounds in the sheets one person may catch feelings that are not being reciprocated by the other person. Most of the time some women feel that if a man have sex with them then that automatically places them in a relationship when I’m sure that never crossed the mans mind. Maybe if people stopped treating sex as a sport or daily activity there would be a lot less confusion going, or better yet if all the facts were laid out in advance it may cut down on some of the foolishness that may follow.

You see love is not always about sex, going out on fancy dates  or showing off for others. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else have or can. It’s not about how many times, if any, that you all have sex. People still don’t understand that once sex enters into a relationship; without marriage things become more complicated, because you no longer are focusing on getting to know each other better and building an air tight bound; your focus is now on the fact of will you have sex when you see that person. Often times people tend to forget that the best type of intimacy doesn’t involve sex at all; it is when you and your mate can just chill and lie back with one another joking and laughing at the most dumbest things you can think of. It’s when you can just lie and hold each other and enjoy each others company with there being no hidden agendas on either persons part.

So if you are still confused about the two sit back and ask yourself this question: Will your relationship stand without sex being the main focus. If your answer is NO or you’re not sure you really have some evaluating to do.

Remember this: Love comes from the heart not any other body part!!

 

CHELLE B.

So You Think You’re In A Relationship

in a relationship

Relationships are taken to lightly these days and people tend to start something up with someone with out clear understanding of what they are doing or suppose to be doing. You know you have one person thinking they are in a relationship but the other person is just enjoying the ride. Too many times people tend to mistake sex for being in a relationship, just because y’all are having sex doesn’t mean you two are dating or even in a relationship, it just means that they enjoy having sex with you. So here we go I’m going to break it down for you so you can truly figure out if you’re in a relationship or not. Ask yourself this “Have you met his family, or even his friends for that matter?” You see most of the time you may be introduced to the friends but not the family if you’re just a side piece, now if you haven’t even met any friends then you really should know you are not in a relationship. Here is another question for you to ask yourself, “Have you two been anywhere together?” Like out to eat, the movies, a vacation or even shopping, has the other person allowed you to be seen in public with them? You see often times when the other person has a main person in their life they can’t take you around certain family members or friends because those people do not agree with or condone them stepping out on their mate. Ok, so lets say you have met some “friends” how close are these friends and are they friends of the opposite sex because if you’re dealing with a dude most of the time his friends aren’t going to say anything, if it’s females they may look at you a certain way because in their mind you are a home wrecker {male or female}. Now lets say by chance you are lucky enough to meet the mom, that could go both ways depending on the main person their child is with, see you have to understand the parent loyalty is to their child and not who their child is with or screwing at the time. Now moving on to something else, when they come over do you all have sex and that’s it, do they leave right after you all finish like all of a sudden something important has come up that they must tend to ASAP? Do they spend quality time with you, do they spend the night with you and if so do they happen to fall on the same nights week after week because if that’s the case they could be working around someone else schedule. When they come to visit do they leave their phone in the car or keep it on vibrate/silent telling you they didn’t want to be disturb while they were with you? LOL, that is the funniest and oldest lie in the book of lies. Are you allowed to call them or do you have to text them only, and if you do call do they answer the phone or do they call you back some time later? If you text them at night do the respond right back or does it take a while? See all these are questions to help you figure out if you’re in a relationship or not.

So you think you’re in a relationship and you haven’t met anyone not even the kids, they can only see you during the day for maybe an hour or two if you’re lucky. They give you reason after reason about meeting relatives and or friends, when they are allowed to spend the night they monitor their phone carefully by leaving it in the car and or turning it off saying the battery was dead and they can only spend the night on certain nights. When you call they don’t answer but will text you right back.

Bottom Line is this: If they can’t take you out in public and if you haven’t met any family members or friends and it’s been over 3 or 4 months then you may just be the only one in a relationship and at that point you need to sit down and talk to your “cutty buddy” about what y’all have going on. There is no use in wasting valuable time and effort trying to be with someone who don’t want to be with you.

Ladies, Gentleman the sooner you  realize your worth and laydown what you do and don’t want then and only then will you be able to face the fact that “They are just not that into you.”

 

CHELLE B.