FREEDOM..FREEDOM..

It’s amazing how one word can have a different meaning to many people. To some the word Freedom means “Being you without anyone’s permission”.

But to me Freedom isn’t doing what we want to do, it’s doing things that keeps us out of bondage, because no one can ever be truly free if they’re living in bondage.

#AreYouFree #OrAreYouBound #Freedom #NoBondage

Freedom Blog Pic

MS. CHELLE B.

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PETTY..PETTY..PETTY..PETTY

 

Ok how many times have you heard the phrase or phrases

“Stop being so petty”

“Oooh you’re just so petty”

“Petty is as petty does”

 Well if you’re anything like me you’ve heard an overuse of the word but also guilty of using it yourself a time or two. Since I know we as people have our own version of what every word in the “urban” dictionary means I decided to just research it for myself and here is what I found….

 1. When someone takes a small subject & blows it out of proportion

..Basically making a mountain out of a mole hill.

 2. Being deliberately nasty or rude for no reason

..Basically being childish.

Petty RKelly

 Now with all that being said & reading the meaning of the word I want to say this, it’s bad enough that so grown women are going around being all petty, especially on social media but when you run across a grown man that’s doing it, it’s a major turnoff. There is nothing appealing to a grown woman about a petty man, the same way I’m sure no grown man likes a petty woman & if they do then they both have some growing up to do. If you find yourself acting out of character all because of what someone else has done or is doing then you’re really making a fool out of yourself & not even realizing you’re actually pushing that person away & not drawing them to you, being petty is the worse thing a person can do in a relationship. So while you’re sitting back thinking “Bam I got them”, what you’ve really gotten yourself is a single status.

 If you’re confused as to what I’m talking about let me explain it real quick…..

1. Don’t call me, I won’t call you {petty}

2. Won’t answer my questions in a timely fashion, I’ll ignore you {petty}

3. Won’t like my stuff, I won’t like yours {petty}

4. Your phone is locked I’ll lock mine {petty}

5. Won’t help me, I won’t help you {petty}

 Now back to what I was saying, I hate a petty female but since most females are naturally jealous of other females for no reason it’s kind of to be expected, but I truly despise a petty man/boy. You see I feel men are supposed to be strong, show strength & stand their grounds but when they resort going tit for tat then that becomes a major turnoff & will push a person away from them quicker than cheating will. Changing your actions to become petty all because you think it will draw the person to you is a sure way to get yourself 1st place in the singles line.

 But to those who choose to act petty here’s a little something from me to you….

Petty Cupcakes

CHELLE B.

It’s Amazing How People Forget….

times helped out

As I sit and think about something’s that have taken place in the past few weeks, maybe even months, it amazes me how soon people forget how much you’ve been there for them no matter what. It amazes me that when they know they will be in need of something they call, text, send e-mails, and even Facebook messages checking on you, asking how your doing like the really care, then all of a sudden you’re hit with the real reason, only though at that moment you don’t know it’s the real reason, they need something from you. So with being the person that I am; and I know I’m not the only one like this, I extend the help that they need no matter what I may have going on. Now lets fast forward a few months and it just so happens you need something, now you can’t get a phone call answered, and text or e-mail returned and they go missing from Facebook, not missing like they deleted you but missing as if they are scared to post or comment on your stuff because you will know that they are out there.

Now let’s say someone you have helped numerous times finally says if you need anything just ask me and when you ask them it seems as though they want you to jump through hoops for them to give you the help that you need. As if they get pleasure out of seeing you down knowing they can help you but wants you to do this and do that. I know everyone is not religious, I know everyone is not saved or believe in God, but I am I do and I do so therefore I know if He sent that person to help you you would not have to go through hell and high water just to get the help. They would give the help freely without attachments or expectations, or wanting something from you in the process. They wouldn’t hold out the help trying to make you do something with them or for them, they wouldn’t try and make you feel like less of a person because you need their help. God don’t work that way! Some may say I’m wrong but I really don’t believe so, so at this point I need no one to ask me for anything. See I am that person that everyone would come to when they needed help no matter what kind I was always there for whoever, I always made it a point to help anyway I could. I have given my last to make sure someone else needs were met before mine.
So like I said it truly amazes me that people tend to forget all you have done for them as soon as they feel they are doing better and don’t need you or your help anymore. It amazes me that people you have went out your way for actually offers the help but wants you to jump through hoops to get it. I’m not a circus clown or seal so therefore I will not jump through hoops just to help you feel superior.
Just remember this the same one that you left standing will be the same one you will soon need again for something, I just hope that someone is not me because at this point the only answer anyone gets from me for now on is NO!!

Answer is No Smurf

CHELLE B.

R&B Divas LA….Kelly Price

Divas

Now I know I am not the only one watching R&B Divas LA, and I have to admit after the foolishness caused by Nicci Gilbert in Atlanta I was kind of hesitant but I saw the cast and was like ok cool they have a bunch of classy females minus Lil Mo so it should be ok. Well let me start by saying this “I am sorry and I apologize to Lil Mo for prejudging based off her past, please forgive me.” Now with that said I totally had everyone pegged wrong, I thought Lil Mo would bring the hood drama and Chante Moore would bring the diva drama, and I figured Kelly Price would be the peace maker. Oh how so wrong was I, I was no where near the ballpark with my thoughts. After watching this show for the  past few weeks I have to admit that Kelly Price has committed career rebirth suicide, she comes off as such a bully, and a big ass liar, non of which is a good look for her because of her antics on the show and her attitude towards the other ladies I will no longer support her; I was watching Sunday Best the other week and when Kirk Franklin announced her I changed my TV quickly. I’m not really understanding where she is coming from with this drama filled attitude, no one owes her anything and to have her speak to grown women the way she does is totally unacceptable. Not sure what is going on with her and Dawn but I would assume a little brain washing behind the scenes, of course Dawn seems like a complete air head and can’t form her own thoughts and ideas so it would not be that hard to get inside her head, I mean it’s only wasted space. I’m not really sure why Kelly has the big attitude with Chante and Lil Mo because she was overly busy, yes she presented the idea but she was too busy to even set up anything and seemed to only want to push it when Chante went to her to let her know that she found a producer she wanted her to meet. I was totally floored when she sat right there and lied to that mans face, saying she knew nothing about him; both Chante and Lil Mo had told her about Fred. I mean they are the ones who stood up in her place when she left them looking like fools and not knowing they were suppose to get up on stage and if I’m not mistaken the main one that said she wouldn’t do it was……DAWN……. she had the most to say about Kelly not being there and how unprofessional it was of her. Now she is singing Kelly’s praises and riding her coattail.

I never thought Kelly Price would or could act so ghetto,  she tried to intimidate Chante Moore and Lil Mo but that didn’t work and when she saw it wasn’t working that is when she realized she needed to get someone back on her side and that someone happened to be airhead Dawn. Now they both were talking about underhanded and vindictive how about you took the name one of them came up with, ran and had a billboard put up with just you and Dawn, now that is underhanded. Kelly Price is suppose to be the grown adult lady but is running around acting like and immature child and a bronco bull at times. I feel she tries to intimidate everyone with her size and height and I truly feel she went into this with a hidden agenda. She knew everyone was expecting for her to be the caring and nurturing one but because she wanted to stand out she took on this entire other character because if that is how she truly is I’m surprised anyone works with her. I mean she has been relevant in a long time and I guess she took this opportunity to try and jump start her career but it didn’t go as planned because if this is what she planned she should have stayed at the drawing board a little while longer. I need for Mrs. Kelly Price to be a grown black woman owned up to her foolishness and lies she’s told and stop hiding behind her husband and speaking to him in order to get her point across. After this show I really don’t see to many people wanted to work with her or deal with her, she needs to get herself in check and I mean fast. All I can say is Kelly Price is the Nicci Gilbert in LA, lowdown, dirty and conniving all of which are not good looks for a black female in todays music industry and considering they both been off the radar for awhile you would think they would know the word humility, it goes a long way.

Now I’m not sure if she cares about what I say but since I am the ones of millions who helped her get where she is today she may just want to pay attention to what “the little” people have to say.

Kelly

CHELLE B.

Try Not To Think About It…..But

thought-bubble2We all have heard that you are not suppose to think about or speak about the things you do for others and even though I am a believer in not speaking about or talking about it to others you can’t help but to think about those things especially when you are going through troubles, trials, tribulations and hard times. See I don’t focus on what I did or how much I gave I only wonder why no one seems to remember those things you do for them when you need some type of help. I have been known to allow people to keep my cars while I stay home just so they could get back and forth to work and anywhere else they may need to go. I have been known to get up out my bed all times of the morning and night just to make sure that someone was at work on time at the doctor on time or anything else they had to do. I have been known to give my last or risk having my own utilities shut off just to make sure someone else wouldn’t have theirs shut off. I have been known to take care of kids when others didn’t want to be bothered with their own kid/kids. I have heard many excuses but my favorite one is always you live to far, the funny thing about that is more than likely I was living in the same place or even farther when you asked for my help and I didn’t hesitate one bit. I didn’t make you come to me to get what you needed I brought it to you, I didn’t say you need to find another way I got up and came to you no questions asked, no if’s and’s and but’s either.

You see I have always been known to be the strong one but people fail to understand that there comes a time when even the strong gets weak from being strong. I know the Lord will not put more on me then I can bare but you see people are not like God, they will continue to pile on and not even thinking about you or your needs. You see I was once asked a question during an interview and they asked me to name my biggest strength and weakness and when I informed them that my strength and weakness were the same they asked how. You see my biggest strength is the compassion I have for others, by putting their needs before my own and my biggest weakness is also the compassion I have for others because they see what you do and they tend to take advantage of it and or take you for granted. Once I explained it to them they understood exactly where I was coming from but I’m amazed at how many don’t seem to understand that your biggest strength can also be your biggest weakness. To be honest I can say that these last few months have really showed and taught me a lot, it made me take my blinders off and face reality. I have never had a problem with helping anyone but now I know who I can help that will truly appreciate it and who won’t take my kindness as a weakness or for granted. I have learned that you can’t always be strong and that it is ok to cry sometimes. I have learned that tough times don’t last always and if I can just hold on until the end of the storm I will see brighter days and sunshine. I have learned that a lot of my sorrow and tears were caused by me because I allowed certain people to get over on me. I have learned that no matter how much you may help someone they will still stab you in your back. The saying is you get out what you put in and that is true but the thing about that is don’t expect it to always come back from those that you once helped. There are time when we have to say lesson learned and move on because you can’t make someone help you back just for you helping them, life is funny like that.

Laugh, Love, Live

CHELLE B.

So it’s ok to be a “BITCH”

I have to let you know ahead of time this post contains cursing and if you don’t agree with it please don’t read any farther. I can’t make my point without using the word in the title. Please proceed with caution if you’re a prude.

Can someone please explain this to me? I’m seeing it everywhere, but I don’t get it: Women who identify themselves, and people they purportedly like, as “BITCHES” You call women you don’t like, women who offend and anger you, “BITCHES.” Why on Earth would you want to call yourself a “BITCH”? Why would you want to call someone you like and respect a “BITCH”?
You see for the past couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have come to realize that more and more females are referring to themselves and other females as “BITCHES”. This kind of throws me off because at one point when females heard that word they would be very offended, but now they seem to want to wear it as a badge of honor. Now why anyone wants to be glorified as a female dog will forever be a mystery to me but I guess to each her own right? See it took a couple of loud, foul mouth females on reality shows to start referring to themselves as a “Bad Bitch” or “Bad Bish” and then you started hearing it all the time, then you got the rappers in their songs screaming they looking for and want a “Bad BITCH” or a “down as BITCH”, and not lets forget the best one, “If you’re going to call me a “BITCH” put Miss in front of that. Guess that was supposed to make it better huh, NOT! Once again I ask the question since when was it ok to be referred to as a female dog? Yea I know there will be those who feel this word doesn’t define you and shouldn’t matter if you know your not one but at the same time, if you referring to yourself as one doesn’t that mean you think you’re one. I mean females will go around saying “That’s my BITCH right there, we been cool”, then you got those posting pictures up on Social Media referring to themselves as a “Bad BITCH”. I’m just really having a hard time understanding why this word has become so glorified depending on how it’s used, now you can call yourself a “Bad BITCH” all day but the moment a dude or even another female call you that during an argument or something it becomes a big problem. What I want to know is why, why get mad when if you scroll thorough your timeline and photos you have been wearing it like a badge of honor. Then you have Beyoncé who did a song telling “BITCHES” to bow down, now I got mixed reactions from this but at the same time I know if a male artist had made that same song everyone would have been all up in an uproar, but I guess because it’s “her” it’s ok for her to call female “BITCHES” and tell them to “bow down” to her. I’m still confused on this, why does that make it right? Plus it’s just sad at how many simple-minded female fans she has that may actually do that if they meet her or hear the song at one of her concerts. Now we all know that kids learn and mimic what they see and hear at home, so at what point do you actually stop with the foolishness? I mean you got your young daughters at school or out in public and then you hear them saying “I’m a bad BITCH”, do you get mad and if so why, when that is what they have been taught? Better yet you get a note from the teacher asking for a conference because your daughter has been overheard saying “Girl you know you my BITCH”. Now you sitting there looking all dumb because you’re embarrassed and you swearing up and down you don’t know where she got it from, when you know dang well she got it from you. I mean really of all the things you could teach your child this is what they picked up on because this is what they hear the most. I’m sorry but you can’t have it both ways, you can’t be offended if someone calls you a “BITCH” because you’ve been calling yourself one.
Now like I said I know there are those out there who are going to say “Why is this such a big deal, if you’re not a “BITCH” it shouldn’t matter”. LOL That is just the craziest oxymoron I’ve ever heard, see because I am not a “BITCH” it does offend me and does matter if you call me one, if I was one I wouldn’t give a hill of beans and I would wear that title proudly but at the same time why does any self-respecting LADY want to be referred to as a “BITCH”. Why do you want to be a freaking female dog, and why when used in a way you don’t like you get all offended? I’m sorry but if you are already referring to yourself like that you have no right to get pissed off when someone else calls you that no matter how it’s intended!
You see no matter how times may have changed a lady is a lady is a lady and me being a lady refuse to be referred to as a “BITCH” by anyone no matter how it is being used. Yea we friends, we cool and all but don’t refer to me being “YO BITCH”, I’m your friend whether it’s best friend or just plain friend either way I’m not “YO BITCH”.
Not understanding when and why this is supposed to be some type of female empowerment to be called or referred to as a “BITCH”. If you ask me, I have to say it’s actually setting women back in time and not helping them progress forward. I mean really being in the days of Social Media and anyone can access your stuff, do you think you will find a job you want once they see those photos where you are claiming you’re a “BAD BITCH”? Well unless you are applying at your local strip club, brothel or dog pound it may actually help you out some.
To sum all this up I don’t and I doubt if I ever will understand why females think they have to stand behind this word to feel some type of female empowerment. When are we going to stop being “BITCHES” and just be what we were meant to be Ladies?

Bitch

CHELLE B.

So You Think You’re In A Relationship

in a relationship

Relationships are taken to lightly these days and people tend to start something up with someone with out clear understanding of what they are doing or suppose to be doing. You know you have one person thinking they are in a relationship but the other person is just enjoying the ride. Too many times people tend to mistake sex for being in a relationship, just because y’all are having sex doesn’t mean you two are dating or even in a relationship, it just means that they enjoy having sex with you. So here we go I’m going to break it down for you so you can truly figure out if you’re in a relationship or not. Ask yourself this “Have you met his family, or even his friends for that matter?” You see most of the time you may be introduced to the friends but not the family if you’re just a side piece, now if you haven’t even met any friends then you really should know you are not in a relationship. Here is another question for you to ask yourself, “Have you two been anywhere together?” Like out to eat, the movies, a vacation or even shopping, has the other person allowed you to be seen in public with them? You see often times when the other person has a main person in their life they can’t take you around certain family members or friends because those people do not agree with or condone them stepping out on their mate. Ok, so lets say you have met some “friends” how close are these friends and are they friends of the opposite sex because if you’re dealing with a dude most of the time his friends aren’t going to say anything, if it’s females they may look at you a certain way because in their mind you are a home wrecker {male or female}. Now lets say by chance you are lucky enough to meet the mom, that could go both ways depending on the main person their child is with, see you have to understand the parent loyalty is to their child and not who their child is with or screwing at the time. Now moving on to something else, when they come over do you all have sex and that’s it, do they leave right after you all finish like all of a sudden something important has come up that they must tend to ASAP? Do they spend quality time with you, do they spend the night with you and if so do they happen to fall on the same nights week after week because if that’s the case they could be working around someone else schedule. When they come to visit do they leave their phone in the car or keep it on vibrate/silent telling you they didn’t want to be disturb while they were with you? LOL, that is the funniest and oldest lie in the book of lies. Are you allowed to call them or do you have to text them only, and if you do call do they answer the phone or do they call you back some time later? If you text them at night do the respond right back or does it take a while? See all these are questions to help you figure out if you’re in a relationship or not.

So you think you’re in a relationship and you haven’t met anyone not even the kids, they can only see you during the day for maybe an hour or two if you’re lucky. They give you reason after reason about meeting relatives and or friends, when they are allowed to spend the night they monitor their phone carefully by leaving it in the car and or turning it off saying the battery was dead and they can only spend the night on certain nights. When you call they don’t answer but will text you right back.

Bottom Line is this: If they can’t take you out in public and if you haven’t met any family members or friends and it’s been over 3 or 4 months then you may just be the only one in a relationship and at that point you need to sit down and talk to your “cutty buddy” about what y’all have going on. There is no use in wasting valuable time and effort trying to be with someone who don’t want to be with you.

Ladies, Gentleman the sooner you  realize your worth and laydown what you do and don’t want then and only then will you be able to face the fact that “They are just not that into you.”

 

CHELLE B.