We all have heard that you are not suppose to think about or speak about the things you do for others and even though I am a believer in not speaking about or talking about it to others you can’t help but to think about those things especially when you are going through troubles, trials, tribulations and hard times. See I don’t focus on what I did or how much I gave I only wonder why no one seems to remember those things you do for them when you need some type of help. I have been known to allow people to keep my cars while I stay home just so they could get back and forth to work and anywhere else they may need to go. I have been known to get up out my bed all times of the morning and night just to make sure that someone was at work on time at the doctor on time or anything else they had to do. I have been known to give my last or risk having my own utilities shut off just to make sure someone else wouldn’t have theirs shut off. I have been known to take care of kids when others didn’t want to be bothered with their own kid/kids. I have heard many excuses but my favorite one is always you live to far, the funny thing about that is more than likely I was living in the same place or even farther when you asked for my help and I didn’t hesitate one bit. I didn’t make you come to me to get what you needed I brought it to you, I didn’t say you need to find another way I got up and came to you no questions asked, no if’s and’s and but’s either.
You see I have always been known to be the strong one but people fail to understand that there comes a time when even the strong gets weak from being strong. I know the Lord will not put more on me then I can bare but you see people are not like God, they will continue to pile on and not even thinking about you or your needs. You see I was once asked a question during an interview and they asked me to name my biggest strength and weakness and when I informed them that my strength and weakness were the same they asked how. You see my biggest strength is the compassion I have for others, by putting their needs before my own and my biggest weakness is also the compassion I have for others because they see what you do and they tend to take advantage of it and or take you for granted. Once I explained it to them they understood exactly where I was coming from but I’m amazed at how many don’t seem to understand that your biggest strength can also be your biggest weakness. To be honest I can say that these last few months have really showed and taught me a lot, it made me take my blinders off and face reality. I have never had a problem with helping anyone but now I know who I can help that will truly appreciate it and who won’t take my kindness as a weakness or for granted. I have learned that you can’t always be strong and that it is ok to cry sometimes. I have learned that tough times don’t last always and if I can just hold on until the end of the storm I will see brighter days and sunshine. I have learned that a lot of my sorrow and tears were caused by me because I allowed certain people to get over on me. I have learned that no matter how much you may help someone they will still stab you in your back. The saying is you get out what you put in and that is true but the thing about that is don’t expect it to always come back from those that you once helped. There are time when we have to say lesson learned and move on because you can’t make someone help you back just for you helping them, life is funny like that.
Laugh, Love, Live
As Fathers Day approaches I sit her and think about this day and at times I wish they could change the name because to me a “father” is just a name that is on a child’s birth certificate. If you ask me it should be called Dad’s Day because to me any man can be a “father” but it takes a real man to be a DAD and that includes being a DAD to kids that they didn’t help make but have taken on the job the “father” left behind. You see it takes more than just fertilizing an egg to be considered a DAD, it takes more than just paying support to be considered a DAD, it takes more than occasional phone calls and visits to be considered a DAD. It takes being there where they need you and even when they don’t, it takes showing up for programs, games, recitals, school plays and other important things in their lives, it takes spending time and not just money, it takes paying attention and not just paying tuition. My dad has been deceased for 21 years and I can say there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him or wish he was still here, I can honestly say he was active in my life and was there when I needed him and even when I didn’t. He cared not because he had too but because he wanted to, he was there because it was his job and responsibility to be there. It’s sad because some men truly feel that because they pay a little money here and there that that should be it, well let me inform you that you could have never been more wrong. You see it’s about the quality of time and not quantity of money that spend, any kid and real mother would prefer you to spend time with the child oppose to throwing a few dollars here and there. I want to take this time to commend all the REAL DADS out there who do what’s right by their kid/kids, who are a part of their kids life willing. I want to tip my hat and show respect to the men out there who want to be a DAD and be a part of their kid/kids life but the mama is just to bitter and jealous to allow it, keep your head up and keep praying God can and will turn it around in your favor. Men if you can be a part of your kid/kids life please do so and don’t worry about the woman because it’s not about her, it’s about you and them and the time they desire to spend with you, because I can promise you the older they get the less time they may want to spend with you. Don’t take it personal though it’s just them growing up and coming into their own and at that point in their lives only their “friends” are important to them. Now to all the donors out there let me share this with you all: Not all males are allowed to celebrate or participate in any shape form or fashion in any “Father’s Day” activities, all imposters will be shot on site and any surviving imposters will be shot again. So let me help you out, if you are not an active part of your kid/kids life, if you only see them once or twice a year and there is no hindrance from the mother, if you stay fresh and your child/children look bummie, if they have to call you and you never call them then you are not entitled to participate in this most wonderful sacred day. So with that being said all sperm donors please stay in the house on June 16, 2013!!
Some may think this is a little harsh but it’s not, to me it’s really fair because you have men out there picking up the slack of these slackers and to me those are the ones who deserve to celebrate this day. So if you are a real DAD and you know it please by all means celebrate until your heart is content because you have truly earned this day and title and you do not deserve to have to share it with simple sperm donors.
So as I sit here and think, a bunch of thoughts have been going through my head and this is the one I chose to write on because it’s long overdue. I want to know at what point did a “good” man become the bad thing to have and a “bad boy” was the one to be with. I have come to notice that guys who treat with women with respect; open the door for her, help her out when she needs it, willing to wait until she is ready for the next level, etc seems to get called a punk, pussy, and or wimp by other guys and some females will look at them as being weak and not man enough. Women grow up and go through life saying they want a good man but when that man comes along all of a sudden he is not what you want; why because his pants fit, he works, take care of his kids, don’t have a rap sheet, and isn’t known to put his hands on a woman. You say “He don’t have enough swag for me”, well how much of that “swag” can you take and pay your bills? What’s wrong with having a man who wants to love and take care of his lady and kids, whether they’re his or not, what’s wrong with having a man who punches a clock oppose to hitting the block? I’m just all confused and for the life of me I can’t seem to understand what the problem is. Why can’t another man look at the “good” man and say “Man you doing good taking care of your family and all”, oppose to calling him a wimp and telling him he’s a sell out because he wants to settle down with one lady and not run the streets or because you call and he tells you he’s cooking dinner for his lady and or family. I would like to know why a “bad boy” has become the one to have, someone who will go upside your head but later apologize because they want some or something, someone who has you, Tracy, Trina, Sally and a few more too. Someone that hits the block instead of the clock. I’m just really confused about the entire situation at hand. Why do good men have to catch a bad rap simple because they are doing what they are supposed to do and not what everyone else is doing. We scream and holler we want one thing but in retrospect we feen for the opposite of what we are saying we want. We look at a good man as being boring and lame, no fun at all. I mean help me out if I’m wrong, what’s so bad about being with a man who is taking care of his family and responsibilities? Why do they have to be labeled simply because they want to do what’s right, why do they have to be labeled because they want to treat a woman like a queen oppose to treating her like a bitch or a late night drive thru? You get a good man but the minute when you get into an argument you get upset because he won’t hit you back, I mean who wants to be hit on. Women scream about a good man but when a good man comes along you push him to the side because he’s not hood enough or “bad” enough. Good men catch a bad rap because they treat women how they should be treated oppose too how most of them are used to being treating, the catch a bad rap because they don’t have a main lady and a side chick, they catch a bad rap because they choose to spend time with their kids oppose to running the streets and chasing hoes. Good men catch a bad rap because they would rather talk then fuss, they would rather make love oppose to fuck, they would rather stimulate your mind oppose to your body. Good men catch a bad rap simply because they are A REAL MAN, someone who will love and not hurt, comfort and not criticize, protect not harm, provide not take away from, lift up not pull down.
So once again I say if anyone has the answer to this question please by all means share it with me.