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All posts for the month May, 2013

So it’s ok to be a “BITCH”

Published May 21, 2013 by chellebooker

I have to let you know ahead of time this post contains cursing and if you don’t agree with it please don’t read any farther. I can’t make my point without using the word in the title. Please proceed with caution if you’re a prude.

Can someone please explain this to me? I’m seeing it everywhere, but I don’t get it: Women who identify themselves, and people they purportedly like, as “BITCHES” You call women you don’t like, women who offend and anger you, “BITCHES.” Why on Earth would you want to call yourself a “BITCH”? Why would you want to call someone you like and respect a “BITCH”?
You see for the past couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have come to realize that more and more females are referring to themselves and other females as “BITCHES”. This kind of throws me off because at one point when females heard that word they would be very offended, but now they seem to want to wear it as a badge of honor. Now why anyone wants to be glorified as a female dog will forever be a mystery to me but I guess to each her own right? See it took a couple of loud, foul mouth females on reality shows to start referring to themselves as a “Bad Bitch” or “Bad Bish” and then you started hearing it all the time, then you got the rappers in their songs screaming they looking for and want a “Bad BITCH” or a “down as BITCH”, and not lets forget the best one, “If you’re going to call me a “BITCH” put Miss in front of that. Guess that was supposed to make it better huh, NOT! Once again I ask the question since when was it ok to be referred to as a female dog? Yea I know there will be those who feel this word doesn’t define you and shouldn’t matter if you know your not one but at the same time, if you referring to yourself as one doesn’t that mean you think you’re one. I mean females will go around saying “That’s my BITCH right there, we been cool”, then you got those posting pictures up on Social Media referring to themselves as a “Bad BITCH”. I’m just really having a hard time understanding why this word has become so glorified depending on how it’s used, now you can call yourself a “Bad BITCH” all day but the moment a dude or even another female call you that during an argument or something it becomes a big problem. What I want to know is why, why get mad when if you scroll thorough your timeline and photos you have been wearing it like a badge of honor. Then you have Beyoncé who did a song telling “BITCHES” to bow down, now I got mixed reactions from this but at the same time I know if a male artist had made that same song everyone would have been all up in an uproar, but I guess because it’s “her” it’s ok for her to call female “BITCHES” and tell them to “bow down” to her. I’m still confused on this, why does that make it right? Plus it’s just sad at how many simple-minded female fans she has that may actually do that if they meet her or hear the song at one of her concerts. Now we all know that kids learn and mimic what they see and hear at home, so at what point do you actually stop with the foolishness? I mean you got your young daughters at school or out in public and then you hear them saying “I’m a bad BITCH”, do you get mad and if so why, when that is what they have been taught? Better yet you get a note from the teacher asking for a conference because your daughter has been overheard saying “Girl you know you my BITCH”. Now you sitting there looking all dumb because you’re embarrassed and you swearing up and down you don’t know where she got it from, when you know dang well she got it from you. I mean really of all the things you could teach your child this is what they picked up on because this is what they hear the most. I’m sorry but you can’t have it both ways, you can’t be offended if someone calls you a “BITCH” because you’ve been calling yourself one.
Now like I said I know there are those out there who are going to say “Why is this such a big deal, if you’re not a “BITCH” it shouldn’t matter”. LOL That is just the craziest oxymoron I’ve ever heard, see because I am not a “BITCH” it does offend me and does matter if you call me one, if I was one I wouldn’t give a hill of beans and I would wear that title proudly but at the same time why does any self-respecting LADY want to be referred to as a “BITCH”. Why do you want to be a freaking female dog, and why when used in a way you don’t like you get all offended? I’m sorry but if you are already referring to yourself like that you have no right to get pissed off when someone else calls you that no matter how it’s intended!
You see no matter how times may have changed a lady is a lady is a lady and me being a lady refuse to be referred to as a “BITCH” by anyone no matter how it is being used. Yea we friends, we cool and all but don’t refer to me being “YO BITCH”, I’m your friend whether it’s best friend or just plain friend either way I’m not “YO BITCH”.
Not understanding when and why this is supposed to be some type of female empowerment to be called or referred to as a “BITCH”. If you ask me, I have to say it’s actually setting women back in time and not helping them progress forward. I mean really being in the days of Social Media and anyone can access your stuff, do you think you will find a job you want once they see those photos where you are claiming you’re a “BAD BITCH”? Well unless you are applying at your local strip club, brothel or dog pound it may actually help you out some.
To sum all this up I don’t and I doubt if I ever will understand why females think they have to stand behind this word to feel some type of female empowerment. When are we going to stop being “BITCHES” and just be what we were meant to be Ladies?

Bitch

CHELLE B.

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Truth Comes To The Light

Published May 18, 2013 by chellebooker

Truth comes to the light

Often times people tend to think they can do whatever it is they want too and they can tell whatever lies they choose, and to be honest with you that is true but at the same time people tend to forget “The Truth Always Comes To The Light”. No it may not happen as soon as some people would like but eventually it will surface, all the lies that have been told will soon be exposed. You see I feel like this there are three things that cannot long be hidden: The Sun, The Moon, and The Truth! For the life of me I may never understand why people lie oppose to telling the truth, I’m no Saint and yes I’ve told lies but I learned the truth was a lot better and simpler, it’s too hard to try to remember the lies that you’ve told because we all know once you tell one lie you have to keep lying to keep covering each lie, therefore it is a never-ending cycle; so why not just be truthful from the start. See it’s like this, if you are telling a lie in order to establish a relationship with someone you are way wrong, because in doing so you are taking away that persons “Free Will”. If you know you are involved with someone or even married please be upfront with the other person and let them decide if that is a situation they want to get involved in. I can promise you they will respect you more and you may even be surprised at the response you get, as they say “The Truth Can & Will Set You Free.” Some people tend to forget that when meeting someone or getting to know them in the beginning all you have is “Your Word” and when it turns out all your words were lies how do you think the other person is going to feel, do you think they will have respect for you for lying to them? That answer would be NO, a person will respect you more by telling them the truth oppose to telling them lies, I would rather you hurt me with the truth than pacify me with your lies. The truth never hurt anyone but lies can really tear a person apart, you will never know the effects lies can have on someone unless you experience it yourself first hand. You know I need for you to think about this before you open your mouth to tell another lie, How would you feel if the lie you’re about to tell was told to you and later down the road you found out it was a lie? Please be honest about the situation. Now if you’re one of those cold heartless persons who gets thrills out of lying, then by all means please continue to lie but as we all know, “You reap what you sow”, so if you’re sowing lies and deceit in the end lies and deceit shall you reap. Nobody wants or deserves to be lied to, not even a liar, everyone deserves the truth even if you think or feel they can’t handle it because you never know what a person can or can’t handle until it’s presented to them. So tell me this if you know the truth will do and if you don’t want someone to lie to you, “WHY LIE”? Yes I know this is an age-old question we will never know the answer too but I still had to ask. If you’re married say you’re married, if you’re in a relationship say you’re in a relationship because eventually crap will hit the fan and when it does it’s going to be one huge mess that you won’t even know how to begin to clean up. If you don’t like someone, say so and don’t lead them on, if you do like someone, say something before you miss out, don’t just sit there lying to yourself and them. You see it’s not just big lies that matters it’s the small, simple, unnecessary lies that do the most damage to a person’s heart.
Bottom Line for me is this: “Hurt me with the truth now oppose to pacifying me with a lie to only hurt me worse later down the road.” If you can’t tell the truth to someone then maybe, just maybe you don’t need to talk to anyone. A lie don’t care who tells it as long as it gets told.

CHELLE B.

So You Think You’re In A Relationship

Published May 17, 2013 by chellebooker

in a relationship

Relationships are taken to lightly these days and people tend to start something up with someone with out clear understanding of what they are doing or suppose to be doing. You know you have one person thinking they are in a relationship but the other person is just enjoying the ride. Too many times people tend to mistake sex for being in a relationship, just because y’all are having sex doesn’t mean you two are dating or even in a relationship, it just means that they enjoy having sex with you. So here we go I’m going to break it down for you so you can truly figure out if you’re in a relationship or not. Ask yourself this “Have you met his family, or even his friends for that matter?” You see most of the time you may be introduced to the friends but not the family if you’re just a side piece, now if you haven’t even met any friends then you really should know you are not in a relationship. Here is another question for you to ask yourself, “Have you two been anywhere together?” Like out to eat, the movies, a vacation or even shopping, has the other person allowed you to be seen in public with them? You see often times when the other person has a main person in their life they can’t take you around certain family members or friends because those people do not agree with or condone them stepping out on their mate. Ok, so lets say you have met some “friends” how close are these friends and are they friends of the opposite sex because if you’re dealing with a dude most of the time his friends aren’t going to say anything, if it’s females they may look at you a certain way because in their mind you are a home wrecker {male or female}. Now lets say by chance you are lucky enough to meet the mom, that could go both ways depending on the main person their child is with, see you have to understand the parent loyalty is to their child and not who their child is with or screwing at the time. Now moving on to something else, when they come over do you all have sex and that’s it, do they leave right after you all finish like all of a sudden something important has come up that they must tend to ASAP? Do they spend quality time with you, do they spend the night with you and if so do they happen to fall on the same nights week after week because if that’s the case they could be working around someone else schedule. When they come to visit do they leave their phone in the car or keep it on vibrate/silent telling you they didn’t want to be disturb while they were with you? LOL, that is the funniest and oldest lie in the book of lies. Are you allowed to call them or do you have to text them only, and if you do call do they answer the phone or do they call you back some time later? If you text them at night do the respond right back or does it take a while? See all these are questions to help you figure out if you’re in a relationship or not.

So you think you’re in a relationship and you haven’t met anyone not even the kids, they can only see you during the day for maybe an hour or two if you’re lucky. They give you reason after reason about meeting relatives and or friends, when they are allowed to spend the night they monitor their phone carefully by leaving it in the car and or turning it off saying the battery was dead and they can only spend the night on certain nights. When you call they don’t answer but will text you right back.

Bottom Line is this: If they can’t take you out in public and if you haven’t met any family members or friends and it’s been over 3 or 4 months then you may just be the only one in a relationship and at that point you need to sit down and talk to your “cutty buddy” about what y’all have going on. There is no use in wasting valuable time and effort trying to be with someone who don’t want to be with you.

Ladies, Gentleman the sooner you  realize your worth and laydown what you do and don’t want then and only then will you be able to face the fact that “They are just not that into you.”

 

CHELLE B.

It’s Hard

Published May 15, 2013 by chellebooker

ImageIn life most of the time we’ve been told that if you want something then go after it. Well some people have taken that literally and if they have their eyes set on a person they will pursue that person with hopes of winning them, but what happens when it seems like your chasing and seeking is all in vain? You see for most of us it’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s even harder to give up when you think it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. At that point what do you do, do you continue to wait or do you simply walk away and say if it’s meant to be it will be. You see the quicker we learn that not everyone will love us like we love them we may actually save ourselves a lot of heartbreak and heartache and time. It amazes me though how someone can break our heart and we can still love them with all the little broken pieces. When do you say enough is enough and give up, or do you just continue to stick around with hopes that maybe just maybe they may start to look at you like you look at them. Understand this, if a person is not willing to invest the same amount time into you that you are willing to invest into them then it may just be time to pick up and move on. Learning and knowing when to cut your loses is one of the best things you will ever learn in your life. But you won’t learn or know this until you know your own worth as a person be it male or female, we all should know our worth and never settle for the sake of not being alone. You see it’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind, someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and heart and let them inside. So sometimes giving up may not be that bad if it’s going to allow the right person to come into your life. You know it’s not all about who we want, most of the time it’s about who we need!!

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Reality TV…. Part 1

Published May 6, 2013 by chellebooker

Reality TV2

Ok, now before I get started I know this is a touchy subject.

These days you can’t turn your TV on without seeing some type of crazy reality show. I admit I have and do watch some but there are some that I really wish they would simply take off the air or never started in the first place. You have some that started one way but has taken a turn for the worse or shall I say for the ratchet. Let’s get started with my ratchet list run down: Love & Hip Hop Atlanta that train wreck should have been derailed before it even got started. I mean I have not saw one thing positive come out of that show, all you see are African American women fussing, cussing, fighting or just plain looking like some dang fools. You have one chick on there where you can’t figure out if she is male or female or  what she is saying, I wonder did they ever think about doing sub-titles for her. The only thing I can say about that show is that I’m sure they pay them well enough where as they can get better butt pads and or just go get butt injections. Now we shall move on to Married To Medicine; I admit that I started off watching this show but already it has taken a turn for the worse, but I do have my favorites on there and I have those that I feel really don’t need to be there at all because you can tell they are trying to freaking hard to be important and relevant. Also I want to know why this one woman lips look like smashed sausages, you would think that with all the money she say she has she would get them fixed because they are not cute. Now what bothers me is this tackiness that goes on on the show and all the back biters that are being shown. You have doctors and doctor wives and instead of being grown up about situations they sit around and talk about other behind their back and not taking the time to get to know each other or getting the “REAL” truth. But I guess you can’t expect “real” truth in a realty show, I mean really how much reality is really in the show anyway. Now we shall move forward to RHOA, Lord give me strength because this show right her is enough to make a blind person poke their eyes out. They lost some people and I guess they needed to create drama so they went and got a psychotic maniac by the name of Kenya Moore to create and stir up controversy. Now I will admit that when the show first started it was a lot more positive then it is now and I did watch it until all the bickering and fighting started taking place. I mean I can’t understand 35+ year old females fighting and talking about everyone behind their backs then want to be invited somewhere. SMH Also at the same time I have saw some positive things come out of this show so I will not bash them for that but I will bash them for all the foolishness that they have going on. When will it ever end?

Now we have TI & Tiny The Family Hustle: Sorry y’all but there is really nothing bad I can say about this show, matter of fact I actually love this show because it shows how no matter what all people go through if they remain true to themselves and their family you can overcome any and everything. I like how TI does not just hand his kids whatever they want but he instill a work ethic in them so they won’t just depend on him. I love the fact that Tiny does not treat the kids any different and they don’t use the term “step” at all. I hate the backlash that Tiny get from females about her looks because to me she is a very pretty lady and she stand strong and beside her man no matter what. I can’t name too many females who would be able to endure what she has and still come out smiling and strong as ever. I would like to see more of this show but I can understand if they need their privacy back.

Now like I was saying you have those that should have never made it to the TV at all.

1. Preachers Daughter-Lifetime

A show about 3 young ladies who are- you guessed it Preachers Daughters and deal with everyday problems as regular daughters. So this show is not in any way an inspiration for anyone. It needs to be taken off ASAP

2. Preacher Wives-Lifetime

Now I’ve only saw one episode and that is the only episode I could watch. This show is a show that should never made it to the network at all because I was not getting “First Lady” vibe from the main “First Lady”.

3. Pregnant & Dating-WE TV

Now NO this show has not came on yet but I saw a trailer and it is horrible. I mean the title alone is enough to make you gag. Why can’t you just wait until you drop your load and then date or better yet where is the sperm donor?

Like I said you have good reality shows, you have bad reality shows, you have horrible reality shows and then you have the plain WTH reality shows. There are plenty more shows and as I peep them I will be doing a part 2.

So if it’s a show you would like for me to peep and discuss please feel free to leave your comments.

 

CHELLE B.

 

  

 

Forever A Hero

Published May 4, 2013 by chellebooker

As the time draws near this is the day I have dreaded for the past week, you see just last Saturday a fearless and wonderful mother gave up her own life trying to save the lives of  five little girls, sad enough she was only able to save one, her life and the life of four precious little Angels we lost in a tragic house fire. I know many people may have questions as to why this happened or even why God let this happened, let me say this the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy not God. We have to learn how to not question God but to be thankful and find the good in everything no matter how tragic the situation was. See this young mother dedicated her life to working, raising her girls and taking care of her family the best way she knew how. She not only cared for her biological kids but for her other kids as well even though she did not give birth to them. Now as Alonna and her two lovely daughters, Erial and Nikkiah are being prepared to be laid to rest on this day all I can do is continue to pray for the family, friends and the community because this tragedy touched many lives. Now as tragic as this fire was and given the lives that were lost it still amazes me at the negative things people can bring themselves to say about this young lady who gave up her life trying to save lives. You see she had the opportunity to get out but she refused to allow those babies to lay in there helpless and perish. I ask myself would the ones who are doing all the negative talking about this young lady if put in that situation how many of them would have really given up their lives to save other lives. I’m sure at this point everyone is saying they would but I can guarantee you that if facing that same situation a lot of minds would change. So for the life of me I can’t understand how something like this has pulled an entire community together but yet there is still plenty of division, I can’t understand a person with a heart can fix their mouths to curse and speak negative about a young lady who is no longer here and can’t defend herself, I can’t understand how a person can talk about a woman who gave up her life. There is a lot I don’t understand or know and I may never understand or know but I do know and understand this; had she made it out alive and the kids didn’t she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself and the negative talks would still be coming and I’m sure threats would have been made. So as far as I see it this young mother fought and is still fighting {even though she is gone} a no win battle.  No matter what people say or what people think this young lady Allonna McCray White was and always will be a hero in my book. I tip my hat off you too you my dear and with that I say R.I.Peace and R.I.Paradise. I love you and I will always love you, it’s just sad that you still have haters after you’re dead and gone!

Lola Sky